After Consideration,

Uncharted 3 is off the list. I've tried to want to play Uncharted, but, unfortunately, I just don't want to. I may be missing out on something amazing, for all I know. I must, however, stand by my belief of not giving in to the hype machine.

And in that spirit, Gears of War 3 is off the list! I love shooting aliens in the face as much, and probably more than, the next guy, but I've played those games a billion times. I'll save my alien face explosion bullets for Mass Effect 3, thank you very much. 


Speaking of which, I'm still hopeful for Mass Effect 3. I've been seeing some concerns on various websites that it's not going to deliver the proper culmination of the previous games. I, personally, feel that this is a fair bit off base. When Bioware started the first Mass Effect, they knew where they wanted to take it. I agree that your decisions in the first didn't play too terribly important of a role in the second, but I feel it's all going to come together in the third to create an extremely moving and customized game. I'm pretty much Bioware's babbling fan-boy, though. They can do no wrong in my book. And my book is awesome. And always correct. And I apologize if you have your own book. Because your book is terrible, and full of lies. Just like that "A Million Little Pieces" book.


S7TAJH3N3SP3

Ahh, Fall!

Every year, this happens. A chill comes into the air, the leaves start turning, and there's a slew of video games that I absolutely must have. This year seems to be particularly amazing. Starting in September, there are ten games that I will be purchasing, some immediately, some after a wait. I shall list them here, along with their placement in the pecking order. We start with number 10...

#10- Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception

Release Date: November 1, 2011

I have never played an Uncharted, despite the fact that I have heard very few ill words about the series. Honestly, Drake has always come off as a "Jersey Shore" douche to me. I keep expecting him to fist pump while showing off his abs. I think I might pick this one up, once the price drops. But then I have to get the two previous games, too. Damn you, Snooki!

#9- Forza Motorsport 4

Release Date: October 11, 2011

I received Forza Motorsport 3 for free, and didn't expect much. I tend to hate driving games. But it was goddamn amazing, and not just because I didn't pay a dime for it. There's not an ounce of story, but it's great to pass the time, so 4 might be worth looking at. Especially if  they have more Top Gear content. Loves me some Stig.

#8-Dead Island

Release Date: September 6, 2011

Now, this is one I'm not sure about. If you read my previous post, you know that I am having an existential problem with zombies right now. However, this game looks like it could be great. Judging from the "small child being thrown out of a high rise window" trailer, it looks like Dead Island is going for a much more emotional and psychological experience than other zombie games. Yet again, I will wait to purchase this one, though. Got to give my pocketbook a break.

#7-Gears of War 3

Release Date: September 20, 2011

I'll be honest with all of you. I think Gears of War is overrated. They're good games, don't get me wrong; but I just don't feel they're as earth-shattering as every single person I know does. But I'm still giving in to the hype machine. 3 looks amazing. I won't purchase it flat out, but I hope to purchase it before Christmas.

#6- Batman: Arkham City

Release Date: October 18, 2011

I love Batman. I love Harley Quinn. I love Arkham Asylum. I love Gotham City. What is there that I won't love about this game? Hopefully, nothing. I would like to point out, though, that Mr. Freeze is in this game. I'm torn on that, because I almost want them to use Arnold Schwarzenegger's take on him. I know it would ruin the game, but goddammit, I can't get enough of the puns! Hoping my wife grabs this for Christmas. Nothing better than to sit by the fire, sipping cocoa and watching the snow fall, all while a marble-mouthed muscle man fumbles with the line "Let's kick some Ice!"

#5-Disgaea 4: A Promise Unforgotten

Release Date: September 6, 2011

Goddamn, I love Disgaea. A wonderful strategy game with a hilarious cast of characters. They are hard, too, which I enjoy immensely. This could be because I'm terrible at strategy games, though. This is a game I shall buy on the release date. At least it's only $50. That's cool, I guess. I'm starting to think I need to get a second job.

#4-Dark Souls

Release Date: October 4, 2011

The sequel to the hardest fucking game since the original Mega Man, Dark Souls promises to destroy you. Seriously. The tag line is "Prepare to Die". I can't help it; that's awesome. I am actually prepared to die, shriek at my television, break a couple controllers, and die again. I might be able to sneak this one in as a gift, seeing as how it comes out the day after my birthday. Happy Birthday, Lawson! We got you the most frustrating game ever!

#3-Assassin's Creed: Revelations

Release Date: November 2011

I absolutely worship Assassin's Creed. It combines my favorite things: global, centuries long conspiracies, history, and leaping off of rooftops, stabbing two guys at once, then smoothly parkour-ing away. I call that a Thursday afternoon. This is the end of both Ezio's and Altair's stories, so that makes this a definite purchase. I already have it pre-ordered. Of course, I haven't paid it off yet.

#2-The Ico and Shadow of the Colossus Collection

Release Date: September 27, 2011

The HD re-release of the two games which, in my mind, definitively ended the "Can video games be art?" debate. I lost my copies, so I have been waiting for this for awhile (I say lost, but I know you stole them, Lucas...I'll see you in your nightmares, you sick freak!). Also, at $40 for two amazing games, it's a great deal.

#1-Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Release Date: November 11, 2011 (Get it? 11-11-11?)

What is there to say about Skyrim? You're probably just as excited as I am. I have this pre-ordered and completely paid off, and am counting down the goddamn days. I'm just ready to make a character that doesn't look like a rock with a badly painted-on face and stab some mastodons.

All in all, that's about $510, without tax. And these 10 are just in the next few months. My wallet will still be in traction by March 6, when Mass Effect 3 comes out (which I also pre-ordered). And I'll probably still be shell shocked when Borderlands 2 finally shows up. I think I need to take out a loan.

So, I was killing zombies...

when I realized something startling. I have become entirely apathetic to the walking dead. As a matter of fact, I think I may have an active hatred for them. This is a huge deal for me. I have loved zombies since the age of 6. I have been a staunch supporter of the various "Living Dead" movies ("Return of..." being my personal favourite). I have played every zombie video game. Christ, I have multiple zombies tattooed on my body. Where did things go so wrong?

I'm gonna guess right around here.

I'm gonna put the onus on pop culture. Zombies have always had their place in pop culture, but as of late, it seems like the saturation level has reached an all time high. Look at this list of video games featuring the brain-hungry warriors (I literally just came up with that). It seems as if every game now has a zombie murder mode, or something of that sort. And this is my problem. It's just too much. Zombies have always been great; the shambling, the moaning, the...more shambling. They capitalize on our fears of becoming part of a faceless mass, and our fear of having to shoot a loved one in the face because they're trying to eat us (Man, if I had a nickel!). But pop culture is doing what it loves to do; take something that people like, and shove it down our throats until we just can't take it anymore.

I'm willing to admit that some games have benefited from zombification. Red Dead Redemption's Undead Nightmare was an amazing addition to an already stellar game.  Zombies Ate my Neighbors was great fun. I enjoyed the Dead Rising series. I'm even looking forward to Dead Island, as it doesn't seem like your standard undead game. But some zombie games should never exist. Take, for example, Plants Vs. Zombies. Yep, I went there. This game is beloved by millions, for reasons unbeknownst to me. It's just a standard castle defense game. There are dozens of games out that do this much, much better. Seemingly to me, PopCap chose zombies solely because it's guaranteed to get noticed, thus raking in more cash for them. I can't blame them; they want to make money; but all this does is load up the market with sub-par zombie games. Why not ninjas? That would've been pretty awesome.

And sexy.

There are many other offenders. Teenage Zombies was one of the worst platformers I've ever played, and it's made even worse by the fact that the children you play as are zombies. I'm sorry, but dead children don't really tickle my funny bone. Maybe that's just me, though.  The Typing of the Dead? What the hell? A Dreamcast game meant to teach typing, you have to type a given word in order to kill a zombie. I'm fairly certain that if this game had been popular, and a zombie outbreak did occur, there would have been an awful lot of blood on the developers hands.

How are you supposed to bypass Time Crisis for this?

I love the undead, and I always will. But I hate zombies right now. All I can hope is that people start to realize that there actually can be too much of a good thing. I would gladly give up multiple mediocre zombie games a year for one perfect game every three years. I love you, zombies, but I don't need you in my Call of Duty. Actually, I don't need Call of Duty, period. But that's another matter.